The decision to make an adoption plan for your child is a difficult and emotional one. We hope the information on this page will provide answers and help you decide if making an adoption plan is right for you and your child. Pregnancy can be a difficult time for a woman, especially when it is unexpected or unplanned. Many women with unplanned pregnancies struggle with their options. It is essential to take some time to let your emotions settle, as well as seek counsel from trusted family or friends. Ultimately, the decision to place your baby for adoption is yours.
You may have many questions about the adoption process, how everything works, and what happens after the adoption. We know that making this decision can be very emotional, and your choices will have lifelong implications. We aim to help you make the best decision for you and your child. We’ll support you as best as possible and refer you to others who will be supportive. You are welcome to call us at 1-800-762-8063 or e-mail us at info@wifamilyconnectionscenter.org at any time.
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What is Adoption?
Adoption is the legal process where the birth parents’ parental rights are ended through a legal procedure called Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). After the TPR and adoption finalization, the adoptive parents become the legal parents, and the adoptive parents are responsible for the child.
The adoption will take place after the child is born. The adoptive parents will be there to care for the child daily and be responsible for the child legally and financially. Calling an adoption agency for more information does not mean you must make an adoption plan for your child. You are allowed to change your mind at any step of the process before the TPR.
Getting Started
You probably have many questions about making an adoption plan and about adoption in general. Your first step is choosing an adoption agency to help you get started. One of the most important things to remember when choosing an adoption agency is to be sure you feel comfortable working with them.
Our “How Do I Choose an Adoption Agency to Help Me Make an Adoption Plan?” tip sheet will be very helpful as you decide which agency to work with.
You can also download a list of licensed Wisconsin adoption agencies right here.
When you have selected the agency you want to work with, that agency will provide you with a birth parent counselor or another adoption professional. That person will be there to help you through the adoption process.
- They are not there to convince you that you should choose adoption.
- They will talk to you about adoption honestly. They will provide information and discuss all options with you. This will help you make an informed decision that is best for you.
- They will ask about prenatal care and other things to ensure that you are staying healthy and taking good care of yourself and your baby. If you do not have health insurance or have not yet received prenatal care, the counselor can help you get insurance and the necessary health care you and your child require.
- If you need additional financial help with living or medical expenses, they can help you obtain the necessary resources.
- They will also provide emotional support and help prepare you for the day that your child is born.
- Another responsibility they hold is to work with you to obtain the adoptive parents’ prenatal records and/or genetic history.
Costs
There will be no cost to you as the birth parent. If you need assistance to ensure your child’s safety and health, the adoption agency will help you find those resources.
The adoptive family is responsible for the financial part of the adoption process. The adoptive parents pay for the adoption, legal fees, and fees to the adoption agency.
Time Frame
It is important to contact an adoption agency as early as possible in your pregnancy or as soon as you have decided to consider adoption. This will allow you time to examine all your options and choices throughout the process. After your child is born, the TPR petition is filed, and a court date is set, you will go to court and terminate your parental rights. This time frame varies depending on the county and how busy the courts are.
Home Study and Training Requirements for the Adoptive Family
It is required that all adoptive parents have a completed home study by a licensed adoption agency. A home study is the process of reviewing a family for adoption. The home study includes criminal background, employment, safety checks, and several extensive interviews by an adoption professional. During the interviews, adoptive parents will be asked about their personal and family backgrounds, parenting styles, relationships, references, and more.
First-time adoptive parents are also required by state law to complete 25 hours of pre-placement training. Within these 25 hours, families will be oriented to the adoption process and fulfill competencies required by the Department of Children and Families. The adoption agency is responsible for assisting both the birth family and adoptive family through the legal process of adoption.
Open Adoption
“Open” refers to the amount of contact that you and the adoptive family will have after they have placement of the child.
Start to think about how “open” you would like your adoption to be. You can agree on the types and frequency of communication.
Although openness agreements are not legally recognized in Wisconsin, your agency will help you negotiate this agreement with the adoptive family. This will also help the adoption agency connect you with a family that would like the same type and frequency of openness.
You can select an adoptive parent(s) from a group of profiles that the agency provides. You may also meet the adoptive parent(s) that you have chosen and interview them.
You Also Have the Option of a Closed Adoption
The agency would choose an adoptive parent(s) for you.
There will be no contact or identifying information between the birth family and the adoptive family.
You can still complete an Affidavit with the state of Wisconsin, allowing your child to search for you when they are 18 years old if they choose.
What About the Birth Father?
Under Wisconsin law, the parental rights of both the birth mother and the birth father must be terminated before a child can be adopted. There are ways to handle this, even if the birth mother does not know the birth father’s identity or where he lives. The adoption agency professional will help you through this process.
If both the birth mother and the birth father agree that adoption is the best plan for the child, the judge can terminate their rights. It is recommended that the birth father appear in court to terminate his rights, but he is not required to be there. Your adoption agency can handle the needed paperwork and contact the birth father. If the birth father does not agree to terminate his rights, two things could occur:
- He could file for custody of the child. He would then have the legal responsibilities and rights of fatherhood. The non-custodial parent would be responsible for child support.
- His parental rights could be involuntarily terminated if he does not want to raise the child. A judge determines if an involuntary TPR is in the child’s best interest.
Paternal Interest Registry
In Wisconsin, both parents must be notified before their parental rights are terminated or their child is adopted. However, if the child’s father is not married to the mother or has not acknowledged his paternity, it may not be easy to locate the father and give notice. The Wisconsin Paternal Interest Registry is a way for putative (possible) fathers to get notification if their child is involved in a Termination of Parental Rights or adoption.
The Department of Children and Families records all potential fathers who have registered with the Paternal Interest Registry by filing a Declaration of Paternal Interest. Courts, attorneys, social workers, and parents may ask the Department to review its records and either provide a copy of a Declaration of Paternal Interest or state in writing that no Declaration of Paternal Interest for the child at issue has been filed. The information may then be used to move a child forward to either reunification or adoption.
Final Steps
Call your adoption agency professional and/or family when your labor begins. You may spend time alone with your baby at the hospital if you want. Take as much time as you need. In Wisconsin, your child can go to a foster (receiving) home or the adoptive parent’s home upon discharge from the hospital. If you are uncomfortable placing your child in either of these situations, you can place them with a relative or bring the baby home with you.
After your child is born, the adoption agency will file a petition for TPR with the county courts.
- The time period to appear in court can vary depending on when the petition to terminate parental rights (TPR) is filed with the court.
- The birth father can attend the hearing in person or sign the Termination of Parental Rights and send it to the court.
- The adoptive parents will be able to visit the baby with the approval of the birth and foster parents. You, too, can see the baby if you want to. Utilize this time to seek counseling and be sure of your decision.
- Upon TPR, the adoptive parents will take the baby home.
Guardianship of the baby is transferred to the adoption agency until the adoption is finalized, approximately six months after the TPR. This means you will no longer have any legal relationship with or responsibility to your child. The adoption agency will supervise the adoptive placement for six months, called the post-placement period. After six months, the adoptive parents will go to court and officially adopt the baby. They can change the baby’s name at this time, and the birth certificate will be altered to show the new name. The birth certificate will also name the adoptive parents as the child’s parents.
When facing an unplanned pregnancy, the decision about how to proceed is one that no one else should make for you. You can consider others’ thoughts and opinions, but ultimately, the decision is yours.
You can expect to feel some grief and loss over your child’s adoption. This is a normal reaction to placing your child for adoption. Take time to heal and seek support from your family and friends. Accept that you have made a very difficult decision and take time to recover.
You may need additional support throughout your pregnancy and after your child is born. Interacting with others who have made the loving decision to make an adoption plan for their children may be comforting.
We know that you are facing a challenging time and that no one can decide about your child but you. If you have questions, need a resource, or want someone to talk to about making this decision, contact the Wisconsin Family Connections Center at 1-800-762-8063.
Are You Pregnant and Considering Adoption? Here are Three Steps to Getting the Help You Need
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be an emotional, overwhelming, and stressful time. People may be coming at you from all sides with advice on the “right thing to do.” Or perhaps you’re doing it all on your own and don’t even know where to begin to sort it all out to make the best decision for you and your child.
You may have considered contacting an adoption agency but haven’t made any decisions yet and are concerned you’ll be pressured to make an adoption plan, even if you’re not yet sure that’s the route you wish to take. What you may not know is that adoption counseling is designed to help expectant parents explore ALL their options and learn if adoption is right for them and their child.
- Choose an adoption agency: A reputable adoption agency can help you sort through all of your options and decide if adoption is the right choice for you and your child. Choosing an agency that you are comfortable with and that is aligned with your values and wishes can ease stress. The agency can provide resources and compassionate support throughout the adoption process if that is the option you choose.You can download a list of state-licensed adoption agencies and a tip sheet on choosing an adoption agency below:
- Meet with an adoption counselor: An experienced adoption counselor will meet with you in a confidential setting to discuss your situation and address your questions, concerns, and needs. If you decide adoption is right for you and your child, your assigned counselor stays with you and guides you throughout the adoption process. You will not be asked to make any immediate decisions, will not be pressured into a decision, and you are free to change your mind at any point up until the Termination of Parental Rights after your child is born.
- Create an adoption plan: Your adoption counselor will work with you in creating an adoption plan you’re comfortable with. Birth parents are more empowered than ever to make their own decisions, from choosing the adoptive family to determining the nature of the relationship they would like to have with the child and family, if any. Considerations may include how close by you want the adoptive family to live, what level of communication you’d like to maintain, and even whether or not you want a family who has other children or pets.
Creating an Adoption Plan: Frequently Asked Questions
A caring and experienced adoption counselor can answer these and other questions in more detail to help you make the best informed decision for you and your child.
How do I get started?
Your first step is to contact a local adoption agency and ask to meet with an adoption counselor. The counselor will discuss your options with you and explain the adoption process if you decide that’s what’s best for you and your child. Counseling is available to both the birth mother and birth father. You can download a list of state-licensed adoption agencies and a tip sheet on choosing an adoption agency below:
- Adoption Agencies Licensed by the State of Wisconsin (PDF)
- How Do I Choose an Adoption Agency to Help Me Make an Adoption Plan? (PDF)
Will an adoption counselor try to talk me into adoption?
No. Your counselor will help empower you to make the best decision for you and your child by talking through your current situation and explaining your options.
How much will it cost?
Confidential counseling to explore all of your parenting and adoption options is free of charge. If you do not have health insurance, medical expenses that are a part of the adoption process are paid by the adoptive parents, as well as legal expenses and counseling. You may also receive assistance with maternity clothes, housing, utilities, transportation, medications/vitamins, or food to a maximum dollar amount.
Does the father need to give consent to adoption?
The birth father has the same rights as the birth mother. He should be legally notified and made aware of any adoption plan the birth mother may be considering. Birth fathers may also file a Declaration of Paternal Interest with the Department of Children and Families (DCF) to guarantee notification of any court proceedings regarding the child.
What if the father won’t consent to adoption?
Adoption may still be possible, depending on the circumstances. Your adoption counselor can explain the options available to you.
Can I change my mind at any time?
Yes, you can change your mind right up until the Termination of Parental Rights after your child is born.
What is “open” vs. “closed” adoption?
“Open” adoption refers to an agreement made between the birth and adoptive parents regarding contact after the adoption. “Closed” adoption means there will be no contact or identifying information between the birth family and adoptive family. Please note that, although many birth and adoptive parents have “open” adoption plans or agreements, these agreements are not legally binding in Wisconsin. This means the adoptive family has no legal obligation to establish or maintain an agreement.
I am under 18. Can my parents force me to make a decision regarding my pregnancy that is against my wishes?
No. While the support of your family can help make the decision-making process less stressful, the final decision is yours.
Click here to download a PDF of these Frequently Asked Questions.
How Do I Choose an Adoption Agency to Help Me Make an Adoption Plan?
You’ve decided to consider an adoption plan for your baby. But now what? Which agency should you choose to help you through this process? Not all adoption agencies are the same, and there are several factors to consider.
Agency Checklist
When looking for an adoption agency, be sure to ask a few specific questions, such as:
- Does the agency explain all the options?
- Does the agency require or recommend counseling before making an adoption plan?
- What type of adoptive parent screening does the agency do?
- Are there restrictions on the types of adoptive families the agency will license, such as religion, sexual preference, marital status, or number of children?
- What other types of counseling and support does the agency offer? Is it from the time of the contact through delivery and placement? Do they provide any post-adoption support or resources?
- What topics are covered in the training required for the adoptive parents?
- How does the agency approach the topic of open adoption? Is it aligned with your wishes?
- How are birth mother expenses covered?
- What paperwork will you be asked to complete and sign?
- Does the agency have a lawyer to help me understand the legal documents you are signing?
When choosing an agency, consider contacting several to help you determine which one you are most comfortable working with. You may also want to speak with others who have gone through or are currently going through the same process.
During this process, take your time and choose the agency that feels right for you and your child. There is no need to rush the process. Just as it took time to decide to make an adoption plan, it takes time to find the agency that’s a good match for you.
Personal Preferences
Ask yourself a few questions about your personal preferences for your child before deciding on an adoption agency or an adoptive family. Consider the openness of the adoption and what type of family you prefer.
- Do you prefer to have an open adoption with the possibility of visiting your child? Would you like to receive only letters and pictures? Or would you rather not have any contact after the adoption is finalized?
- Do you wish to live close to the family you choose, or would you prefer distance?
- Do you prefer a two-parent family for your child? A single-parent home? What are your feelings about same-sex parents?
- Do you prefer your child to have a stay-at-home parent, or are you open to a family with parents working outside the home?
- Do you want your child to have siblings? Pets?
- Do you hope your child will be raised to follow a particular religion, spiritual practice, or belief system?
- What are your feelings regarding the race or ethnicity of your child’s family?
These are just a few questions you may want to ask yourself before going to an agency and choosing your child’s adoptive family.
