Description

“As a homeless teenager writing college essays in her rusty Toyota Corolla, Emi Nietfeld was convinced that the Ivy League was the only escape from her dysfunctional childhood. But upward mobility required crafting the perfect resilience narrative. She had to prove that she was an “overcomer,” made stronger by all that she had endured.

The truth was more complicated. Emi’s mom was a charming hoarder who had her put on antipsychotics but believed in her daughter’s brilliance—unlike the Minnesotan foster family who banned her “pornographic” art history flash cards (of Michelangelo’s David). Emi’s other parent vanished shortly after coming out as trans, a situation few understood in the mid-2000s. Her own past was filled with secrets: mental health struggles, Adderall addiction, and the unbecoming desperation of a teenager fending for herself. And though Emi would go on to graduate from Harvard and become a software engineer at Google, she found that success didn’t necessarily mean safety.

Both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it, this searing debut exposes the price of trading a troubled past for the promise of a bright future. Told with a ribbon of dark humor, Acceptance challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and find contentment on your own terms.”

(2022, hardcover, 368 pages)

Staff Member Review

I had the honor of attending the Family Focused Treatment Association (FFTA) National Conference in 2023. Emi Nietfeld was the Keynote Speaker at this conference, and her courageous and vulnerable presentation about her personal journey from homelessness to Harvard graduate was heartbreaking and ultimately awe-inspiring.

I had the opportunity to meet Emi afterward and purchased her book, Acceptance, which I read from cover to cover. In Acceptance, Emi Nietfeld pours her heart and soul into chronicling her parents’ struggles that ultimately led to their divorce.

Emi describes her journey from being admitted into a mental health facility and later being placed in foster care. I recommend Acceptance for adolescents who are in care, have spent time in care, or have aged out of care.

Acceptance is also a highly recommended book for foster parents to hear the lived experience of a former youth in care who, through grit and sheer determination, was able to overcome challenges and spend time in foster care and for foster parents.  Nietfeld’s memoir describes the grit and determination that empowered her to work through extreme challenges as a child and into adulthood.

I would caution readers that some potentially triggering subjects are discussed in detail, namely, self-harm, eating disorders, parental neglect and abandonment, divorce, homelessness, and suicidal ideation.

There are tremendous lessons for all of us to learn about the importance of listening to and responding to individuals with lived experience.

Acceptance was named one of the best books of 2022 by NPR and Amazon.

Author: Emi Nietfeld
ISBN: 978-0-593-48947-5
Count: 1